How to overcome fear of your own success

Do you know people who are modest about their achievements? They are praised, and they object, because they consider themselves unworthy of this. Such people explain their professional successes by chance, luck, a favorable combination of circumstances - anything but hard work, talent or diligence.

If you know this feeling, you are not alone. It is so widespread that back in 1978, psychologists Pauline Clans and Susan Imes coined the special term “impostor syndrome” or “impostor phenomenon”.

This syndrome manifests itself in both men and women, both in stars and ordinary workers, is considered a psychological problem and can be devastating for the human person. But it can and should be fought with. How - tells Work.ua.
Cause of the syndrome
Fear

As we grow professionally, we go beyond the personal comfort zone. A natural reaction to this phenomenon is fear. Here he is, in the person of an inner voice that whispers fears, is one of the culprits of the syndrome.
All troubles since childhood

A beloved or disliked childhood also gives rise to impostor syndrome: a child is caught up and then tries to meet the criteria of his parents all his life, or, conversely, in the shadow of his brother or sister unsuccessfully tries to gain adult recognition, constantly feels at ease and quickly becomes disillusioned with his own abilities .
How to fight

Having embarked on a path of professional growth, people suffering from impostor syndrome often make a rapid career. The fear of exposure makes them work hard. For others, they are competent colleagues. They are set as an example, promoted. However, sometimes their career is not so successful. Fearing not to cope with new tasks and feeling unworthy of such an attitude, “impostors” often consciously block their careers, reject awards and interesting offers.

“The worst thing in this situation is the internal tension in which people suffering from fraud syndrome constantly live. In modern society, any manifestations of weakness are considered inappropriate, and psychological weaknesses - even more so. Therefore, the imaginary “imposters” most often remain face to face with their problem, ”says Berlin psychotherapist Monika Klinkhammer.
Outside help

It is very difficult, according to psychologists, to cope with the “fraudster” inside yourself alone, according to psychologists. A sober assessment of strangers will help restore self-confidence. A conversation with someone who knows you well can be helpful. It is best if it is someone from a professional environment. His task is to give you an objective assessment. No need to praise, you need to try to open a person’s eyes to how they treat him in the team, for which he is appreciated. It is possible that at some point the imaginary "scammer" will need professional help from a psychologist.
Work on your thoughts

To get rid of the “impostor syndrome”, you need to overcome certain prejudices in yourself, for example, stop believing that a one-time mistake speaks of a person’s abilities. The goal of treatment is to teach a person to recognize negative and destructive thoughts and avoid them. Theoretically, when a person learns to recognize such thoughts, he will be able to compare thoughts with reality and identify shortcomings in the course of his thinking.
Success Diary

Experts encourage people to cultivate self-esteem in themselves by focusing on their strengths. Make a list of your strengths, skills and experience - create your own list of victories.

Write on paper your three main successes and, under each paragraph, briefly outline what you had to go through for this. After reading this list you will feel that you not only deserve success, but also are obliged to receive more.

The list of personal victories will help you understand if you are not too hard on yourself - for example, if you are not setting an excessively high bar for yourself. Perfectionism is disastrous.
Courses, seminars, trainings for advanced training

Further education courses or seminars on rhetoric can give self-confidence to those who consider themselves not worthy of the position they occupy. Finding balance will help sports, yoga or meditation. In this way, one can constructively respond to the inner voice that produces fear.


Do you have to struggle to recognize your own achievements? Do you dismiss compliments with the words: “I was just lucky ... It was team work ... Nothing special ...”? The main task for the "impostor" is to allow himself to be who he is and to stop judging himself, and at the same time others.